Be drifting without direction
Everything is just another hallucination.
Lost in a dark horizon
As dreadful as Hades' imagination.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Friday, February 20, 2009
Haihz...
Have you ever felt so alone that it hurts? No matter how much time you spend with your family or your loved ones, that pain doesn't goes away? Ever felt like your soul has been sucked into an abyss? Ever felt like you've been stranded, eventhough in reality you aren't? Have you ever felt like that?
No matter how they try to reach out to you, you just don't have the strength, or are too paralysed to take their hand. So, you are left alone in that darkness.The worst part is this : Only you can get out of that darkness. I hate it when that happens.
There are times when this happens to everyone. I'm sure it does. Sometimes things goes up and sometimes it goes down. So, what do you do when things are in the dumps? For the time being I am embracing the darkness. It's been one too many times that I've been here that I'm not scared of the darkness anymore. It has become sort of a comfort. A place that is familiar.
The darkness is just a form of a sandstorm. The sand in this sandstorm are so small, that you can't stop it from getting into your eyes, your ears...your mind. The winds are so rough that it'll tear your skin apart and blood drips from the wounds. When the sandstorm is over though, an unbelievably quiet calm takes it place. Slowly, your wounds heal and scars are formed. Everyone feels pain; each has his own scars. What can't be denied however is, when the sandstorm is over, you are not the same person as when you went in.
No matter how they try to reach out to you, you just don't have the strength, or are too paralysed to take their hand. So, you are left alone in that darkness.The worst part is this : Only you can get out of that darkness. I hate it when that happens.
There are times when this happens to everyone. I'm sure it does. Sometimes things goes up and sometimes it goes down. So, what do you do when things are in the dumps? For the time being I am embracing the darkness. It's been one too many times that I've been here that I'm not scared of the darkness anymore. It has become sort of a comfort. A place that is familiar.
The darkness is just a form of a sandstorm. The sand in this sandstorm are so small, that you can't stop it from getting into your eyes, your ears...your mind. The winds are so rough that it'll tear your skin apart and blood drips from the wounds. When the sandstorm is over though, an unbelievably quiet calm takes it place. Slowly, your wounds heal and scars are formed. Everyone feels pain; each has his own scars. What can't be denied however is, when the sandstorm is over, you are not the same person as when you went in.
Monday, February 16, 2009
The Day Dreaded for Us Students...Day for Exam Results!
Just when I was feeling high on the euphoria of love that the heavens had to bring me crashing back down to earth. I guess that's life. I came back to 'terra nullius' yesterday feeling sad that I had to leave the comforts of home. It's funny how things work out. I'd think that after 18 years under the guardful watch of my parents, I'd be happy to finally leave home. Eventhough not permanently, but still... But being the way I am, I miss my family a lot. I actually miss being nagged 'live' by my mom. There's just no feeling when you're being nagged on the phone. I miss fighting with my siblings and making up at the end of the day. I miss debating with my dad. Most of all, I miss just being with them. I am so grateful to have a place to call home.
Anyway, back to what I wanted to say. Today, my mid-semester exam results came out. I didn't do too well. Given the circumstance that I was in while I did the exams, I only have me to blame. I cannot put the blame on microscopic organisms. Should've taken really good care of myself. Hopefully, I do not get sick again for my finals! Friends, pray with me... ;-)
Today, one can see happy faces and also sad faces. Faces of people who are elated or the faces of the ones who are satisfied. Faces of people who are determined to do better or the faces of people who have given up. Now, what made me think when being put in this kind of situation is...why do some give up while others are determined to do better when met with failure? The answer that I have found out is : purpose. Now, let's look at it logically; if someone has a goal in life, would they throw away their dreams and efforts just because they met with failure or many failures? I think not. I've met failures before and it's true that I was really down. I actually needed someone to pick me up again. For that, I have to thank my family and friends. But after the feeling of hopelessness and self-blame passes, I regained my spirit and started to fight for my dreams again. I'm doing that now. I've always known that I have a purpose in life.That's the reason, I believe that God gave me a second chance at life. I have found my raison d'être. One need to have a rationale before having a purpose in life. You've got to know the reason of doing something before you do it. My reason? For myself,my family and for everyone who has faith in me. I can never let them down. Most of all, I cannot let myself down.
If anyone who's feeling down out there, please don't give up. Life's not worth giving up. And exams, up to a certain point they do matter a lot. It's proof that you are able to handle your subject. But again, they are not everything. Plus, nobody is stupid as a French saying goes : " Genius is nothing more than a great aptitude for patience. "
Anyway, back to what I wanted to say. Today, my mid-semester exam results came out. I didn't do too well. Given the circumstance that I was in while I did the exams, I only have me to blame. I cannot put the blame on microscopic organisms. Should've taken really good care of myself. Hopefully, I do not get sick again for my finals! Friends, pray with me... ;-)
Today, one can see happy faces and also sad faces. Faces of people who are elated or the faces of the ones who are satisfied. Faces of people who are determined to do better or the faces of people who have given up. Now, what made me think when being put in this kind of situation is...why do some give up while others are determined to do better when met with failure? The answer that I have found out is : purpose. Now, let's look at it logically; if someone has a goal in life, would they throw away their dreams and efforts just because they met with failure or many failures? I think not. I've met failures before and it's true that I was really down. I actually needed someone to pick me up again. For that, I have to thank my family and friends. But after the feeling of hopelessness and self-blame passes, I regained my spirit and started to fight for my dreams again. I'm doing that now. I've always known that I have a purpose in life.That's the reason, I believe that God gave me a second chance at life. I have found my raison d'être. One need to have a rationale before having a purpose in life. You've got to know the reason of doing something before you do it. My reason? For myself,my family and for everyone who has faith in me. I can never let them down. Most of all, I cannot let myself down.
If anyone who's feeling down out there, please don't give up. Life's not worth giving up. And exams, up to a certain point they do matter a lot. It's proof that you are able to handle your subject. But again, they are not everything. Plus, nobody is stupid as a French saying goes : " Genius is nothing more than a great aptitude for patience. "
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Love...Love! Love?
Well, since today is Valentine's Day...I'd just like to wish all my friends who are currently happy with their other half 'Happy Valentine's Day'! As for those who are flying solo, like me, don't fret...Take this day to pamper yourself and shower yourself with lots and lots of love...because no one in this world who can love you as much as you do.
Today,one of my best friends told me something really cool that he did for his girlfriend : He.named.a.star.after.her.
Isn't that so freaking cool??? It made me excited just hearing that. He is capable afterall, of swooning over girls. Anyway, what he did made me think...is it possible for love like in the movies or in romance novels to exist in reality? My mom never encouraged me to read romance novels or chick flicks. She'd prefer if I read Homer's or something that has sense. Her reason? She tells me that I'll be living my own romance story one day and that will be even more exhilirating than reading about fantasies of love or another person's romance. In conclusion, that should make me quite an unromantic person, shouldn't it? However, I turn out to be a hopeless romantic. And the source of me gaining all this 'silly' ideals of how love should be? Korean dramas and songs! I have to say Asian men can be quite charming when they want to be. So, single girls out there, don't lose hope!Gentlemen still exist here on our continent. We just have to 'hunt' them down. Haha...Gosh, I make it sound like we're on a hunting trip or something.
What fascinates me about this love thing is the amazing thought of how two strangers, who previously had no clue about each other, can risk their all for the other when love is established between them. That to me is a sign that God does exist. God is great. And isn't it also amazing how a person can accept another when they're in love; no matter how annoying or evil that person may seem to others? That's the beauty of love. They make other people and the whole world in general to seem beautiful. Sure, everyone and everything has faults; but with the existence of love, even pain seems worth a fleeting moment in love's embrace.
Now, if only everyone had that sense of love for humanity and a greater good...This world would indeed be a better place. A place where people had 100% consideration for others and 70% for themselves; where leaders actually think for their people and not for their own gains; where every human life would be appreciated far more than wealth...ah, these are just some of the things that together, we can do to make our world a better place. Even if it is a small dream, but if everyone looks towards the same direction then this dream would surely come true...
Enough of this sad issue. This is afterall a day of love. I'd like to dedicate a song to all the love birds out there. It's a song by one of South Korea's hottest bands...drumrolls please...Big Bang! They really are good, I should write about them one day. Well here it is :
Always - Big Bang
On that first day, we weren't able to take our eyes off each other
As if the rest of the world had stopped
As if we were unfamiliar with love
I liked everything about you, even your clumsiness and awkward expressions
I hoped that we would become friends
I hoped that we would become lovers
Don't be afraid that I would ever let go of your hands
Even as I look at you now, you're so precious to me
That's why you gotta know girl
My heart that longs for you is blue,
I want to hold you as if I were the sky
Even in the howling of a rain storm, there's nothing to be afraid of now Oh oh oh
You're always inside my heart
I want to give my everything to you
When you're tired and having a bad day,
I'll be there to hold you
Ahahahahahahahah
Sometimes, we'd have our own rough moments too
But every couple fights
Pain comes around, and goes around
But a happy smile comes to your face with the fading of your tear stains
There are so many things that may hinder us,
But don't be afraid even if I say that things are tough
Just as long as I'm by your side, I can withstand anything
That's why you gotta know always girl
My heart that longs for you is blue, thank you for being with me
Even in the howling of a rain storm, there's nothing to be afraid of now Oh oh oh
You're always inside my heart
I want to give my everything to you
When you're tired and having a bad day,
I'll be there to hold you
Ahahahahahahahah
Baby I swear
Beneath the heavens, there's no one but us
We go together like a needle and thread,
pushing and pulling, back and forth,
In the midst of love, trusting and treasuring each other
I'll wipe away your tears, and bring the fair smile and sparkling eyes you have to your face
Go back way back
Yo! Getting together, breaking up, separation,
No one knows when we'll one day officially break up, but I'm different
Just follow me as you usually do
Do we really need to make everything clear with words?
Our love is enough
Holding you under the warm sunlight next to the blue sea
That's sweet
That's why you gotta know girl
My heart that longs for you is blue,
I want to hold you as if I were the sky
Even in the howling of a rain storm, there's nothing to worry about Oh oh oh
You're always inside my heart
I want to give my everything to you
When you're tired and having a bad day, I'll be there to hold you
Ahahahah
I find this song as a very sweet song and I know it holds true for some of us. I've got to go now. Before I go though, here's something to think about : This world is too small for hatred.
Today,one of my best friends told me something really cool that he did for his girlfriend : He.named.a.star.after.her.
Isn't that so freaking cool??? It made me excited just hearing that. He is capable afterall, of swooning over girls. Anyway, what he did made me think...is it possible for love like in the movies or in romance novels to exist in reality? My mom never encouraged me to read romance novels or chick flicks. She'd prefer if I read Homer's or something that has sense. Her reason? She tells me that I'll be living my own romance story one day and that will be even more exhilirating than reading about fantasies of love or another person's romance. In conclusion, that should make me quite an unromantic person, shouldn't it? However, I turn out to be a hopeless romantic. And the source of me gaining all this 'silly' ideals of how love should be? Korean dramas and songs! I have to say Asian men can be quite charming when they want to be. So, single girls out there, don't lose hope!Gentlemen still exist here on our continent. We just have to 'hunt' them down. Haha...Gosh, I make it sound like we're on a hunting trip or something.
What fascinates me about this love thing is the amazing thought of how two strangers, who previously had no clue about each other, can risk their all for the other when love is established between them. That to me is a sign that God does exist. God is great. And isn't it also amazing how a person can accept another when they're in love; no matter how annoying or evil that person may seem to others? That's the beauty of love. They make other people and the whole world in general to seem beautiful. Sure, everyone and everything has faults; but with the existence of love, even pain seems worth a fleeting moment in love's embrace.
Now, if only everyone had that sense of love for humanity and a greater good...This world would indeed be a better place. A place where people had 100% consideration for others and 70% for themselves; where leaders actually think for their people and not for their own gains; where every human life would be appreciated far more than wealth...ah, these are just some of the things that together, we can do to make our world a better place. Even if it is a small dream, but if everyone looks towards the same direction then this dream would surely come true...
Enough of this sad issue. This is afterall a day of love. I'd like to dedicate a song to all the love birds out there. It's a song by one of South Korea's hottest bands...drumrolls please...Big Bang! They really are good, I should write about them one day. Well here it is :
Always - Big Bang
On that first day, we weren't able to take our eyes off each other
As if the rest of the world had stopped
As if we were unfamiliar with love
I liked everything about you, even your clumsiness and awkward expressions
I hoped that we would become friends
I hoped that we would become lovers
Don't be afraid that I would ever let go of your hands
Even as I look at you now, you're so precious to me
That's why you gotta know girl
My heart that longs for you is blue,
I want to hold you as if I were the sky
Even in the howling of a rain storm, there's nothing to be afraid of now Oh oh oh
You're always inside my heart
I want to give my everything to you
When you're tired and having a bad day,
I'll be there to hold you
Ahahahahahahahah
Sometimes, we'd have our own rough moments too
But every couple fights
Pain comes around, and goes around
But a happy smile comes to your face with the fading of your tear stains
There are so many things that may hinder us,
But don't be afraid even if I say that things are tough
Just as long as I'm by your side, I can withstand anything
That's why you gotta know always girl
My heart that longs for you is blue, thank you for being with me
Even in the howling of a rain storm, there's nothing to be afraid of now Oh oh oh
You're always inside my heart
I want to give my everything to you
When you're tired and having a bad day,
I'll be there to hold you
Ahahahahahahahah
Baby I swear
Beneath the heavens, there's no one but us
We go together like a needle and thread,
pushing and pulling, back and forth,
In the midst of love, trusting and treasuring each other
I'll wipe away your tears, and bring the fair smile and sparkling eyes you have to your face
Go back way back
Yo! Getting together, breaking up, separation,
No one knows when we'll one day officially break up, but I'm different
Just follow me as you usually do
Do we really need to make everything clear with words?
Our love is enough
Holding you under the warm sunlight next to the blue sea
That's sweet
That's why you gotta know girl
My heart that longs for you is blue,
I want to hold you as if I were the sky
Even in the howling of a rain storm, there's nothing to worry about Oh oh oh
You're always inside my heart
I want to give my everything to you
When you're tired and having a bad day, I'll be there to hold you
Ahahahah
I find this song as a very sweet song and I know it holds true for some of us. I've got to go now. Before I go though, here's something to think about : This world is too small for hatred.
Friday, February 6, 2009
16 Random Things About Yours Truly...
Adel!!! Why'd you have to tag me??? This is so unfair... Well, what's been done is done. So, here are 16 random things about me.
1. My name in Arabic means 'Famous Light". I guess it's my destiny to become famous one day. Friends, pray that I do do that in a good way! ;-)
2. Most of the times I contradict myself. If you're observant, you'd know that.
3. It is okay if you hurt me. But if you hurt the people I love, man...you're about to get it. I'd fight for the ones I love. I mean it.
4. I love languages and cultures.
5. Differences fascinate me.
6. I am often intrigued by people with characters of which I lack. And one major character that I lack is patience.
7. I love authors who write books which plays with your mind, don't make sense at the first read and leaves you thinking when you're done. Imperfection in art is perfection to me. One such author who I adore is Haruki Murakami.
8. If I believe strongly in something, don't you try to argue with me. You'd be wasting your time,unless...you have great reasoning and patience. You might do wonders with me if you have both of that.
9. I am an idealist but I do believe that ideals which does not exist in reality is meaningless.
10. Hollow men, as Elliot calls them, annoys the hell out of me. These are men with narrow minds devoid of imagination, make and follow inflexible systems and some other annoying stuff that I don't really remember. LoL.
11. Often, my humour is subtle and my sarcasm isn't.
12. I don't really hate Maths. It's just that I lack the calm, patience and thinking skills to do such a subject. However, once I understand everything that is to understand about Maths, you can't stop me from doing Maths! Haha...
13. I can be very committed in doing something when I want to be and very unfocused when I don't.
14. If I really want something and it is important to me, I'll work really hard for it. I proved that way back when I did SPM. I didn't fail Add Maths. Yeay!
15. I can't live without music. Take that away from me and say hello to a very irritable Shahirah.
16. Apparently, a lot would say I'm cute...that is if you see past the 'coldness' and sarcasm.
Well, that's all that there is about me. 16 random things...Enjoy! LoL.
1. My name in Arabic means 'Famous Light". I guess it's my destiny to become famous one day. Friends, pray that I do do that in a good way! ;-)
2. Most of the times I contradict myself. If you're observant, you'd know that.
3. It is okay if you hurt me. But if you hurt the people I love, man...you're about to get it. I'd fight for the ones I love. I mean it.
4. I love languages and cultures.
5. Differences fascinate me.
6. I am often intrigued by people with characters of which I lack. And one major character that I lack is patience.
7. I love authors who write books which plays with your mind, don't make sense at the first read and leaves you thinking when you're done. Imperfection in art is perfection to me. One such author who I adore is Haruki Murakami.
8. If I believe strongly in something, don't you try to argue with me. You'd be wasting your time,unless...you have great reasoning and patience. You might do wonders with me if you have both of that.
9. I am an idealist but I do believe that ideals which does not exist in reality is meaningless.
10. Hollow men, as Elliot calls them, annoys the hell out of me. These are men with narrow minds devoid of imagination, make and follow inflexible systems and some other annoying stuff that I don't really remember. LoL.
11. Often, my humour is subtle and my sarcasm isn't.
12. I don't really hate Maths. It's just that I lack the calm, patience and thinking skills to do such a subject. However, once I understand everything that is to understand about Maths, you can't stop me from doing Maths! Haha...
13. I can be very committed in doing something when I want to be and very unfocused when I don't.
14. If I really want something and it is important to me, I'll work really hard for it. I proved that way back when I did SPM. I didn't fail Add Maths. Yeay!
15. I can't live without music. Take that away from me and say hello to a very irritable Shahirah.
16. Apparently, a lot would say I'm cute...that is if you see past the 'coldness' and sarcasm.
Well, that's all that there is about me. 16 random things...Enjoy! LoL.
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